How did I got here? I’ve spent most of my time trying to comprehend this life of a roller coaster, shadowed by meaningless circumstances. Why didn’t mom warned me? Why didn’t I gotten a map of my destiny. Instead, all my roads were crossed with crossroads memories. Two years ago I was swept by joy and happiness, and I thought life had wished me well and happily ever after. But after, I fell from the clouds of all my endeavors, causing me to lose myself as if losing myself I’d find it.
Lost in the middle of nowhere, hoping that my countenance give signals to those that are close to me. No one notices, no one pays attention. Screaming out in silence, drowned by my own emotions. They tipped me over. I fell off the surface, with images of being raptured by someone’s grace. I’ve never journeyed this path before. I had no idea life would’ve betrayed me like this. I have been nothing but faithful. But my faithfulness brought me sorrow and grief.
Sometimes I believe I should be lost in places that can’t be found. But to my disappointment, someone always discover me waving flags in the center of the deep. Crying for a savior to rescue me from the current of the ocean that kept pulling me from my resting place. Being lost, being lost… I won’t have to punish myself for making a mistake, or run away in my head for being judged my persons who think I’m not worthy. But through this, I wish me longevity so long that I teach others how to live in found places.
– Chan
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